You’ll be amazed by children’s mind, says French writer
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French author and doctor of philosophy Oscar Brenifier has an advice to all parents: listen to your children and you’ll be amazed by what you hear.
Brenifier, who founded UNESCO’s International New Philosophical Practices Conference in 2006, is staying in Vietnam until March 24 to introduce his children’s book series called PhiloZenfants or Philosophy for Children.
Tuoi Tre caught up with him to discuss children and philosophy.
I showed your book, Philosophy for Children, to a colleague. She shook her head, saying she didn’t want to be taught how to teach her children. How to you respond to such feedback?
Her reaction is typical. Some parents even threw away my book. Some fear I teach their kids lying and sex. But if you didn’t explain those taboos to your kids, you were in effect telling them to commit them in private. They wouldn’t be able to tell right from wrong.
To Vietnamese parents who have the same concerns, I’ll say, don’t worry if your kids keep questioning. Don’t be afraid to answer their questions. When kids ask you about the world, they’re overcoming their fear of adults, learning to talk to grown-ups and admitting they need your guidance.
If parents listen, they’ll be amazed to know what is on their children’s minds and realize despite their ages, kids always try to make sense of everything as well as to express their ideas.
When did you first realize your books for kids can also convince adults?
Once in Turkey, a mother told me her daughter’s reaction to my book. As she was sitting in the back of the car reading, she exclaimed, “Mom, this book is strange because it understands me well.” So the mother was interested and wanted to find out what could understand her daughter so well. My series actually ask basic questions that kids often ask but adults either answer briefly or avoid. So you see, it wasn’t what I lectured or what the media said about my books that convinced the mother.
I’ve been in Hanoi for less than 20 hours and the word I’ve heard most often is “busy”. Kids can spend hours chatting online because they need to talk to somebody. But most parents only spend 5 seconds to kiss them on the cheeks rather than hours to answer their questions. I’m curious to know if Vietnamese parents agree with me and will stop for a few minutes to sit down, drink a cup of tea and start talking to their children in a way that they want.
What approaches do you use for children in different regions in the world including Vietnam?
In each country, I encounter different issues. Sometimes a culture determines a person’s characteristics so I need to research about it carefully. In France, for instance, individualism is dominant and competition between kids is very harsh. When I give French children a question or an assignment, they only care who will be No.1. I have to explain to them the purpose is not to find the best but to develop ideas and carry out a plan as a team.
In Norway, you are forbidden to say something different, so kids imitate each other in talking and acting. In the US, kids are so practical they lose their imagination. But what most impresses me is China. There, children are afraid to say yes or no. “No” especially is considered a very bad word. So when Chinese children have to say yes or no, they often beat around the bush.
Nevertheless, children everywhere have the same questions. I hope this series or the adventure to philosophy and psychology if you will, will help all of us, starting from children, understand themselves and consequently, learn to have self-control and courage. These are what made Socrates so admired.
*Brenifier’s philosophy books for children have been translated into over 30 languages, including Vietnamese. He will hold a talk for parents at Idecaf, 31 Thai Van Lung Street, District 1 at 6 pm on March 18.
