Not kisses, face horrible truth Mar 8: diplomat
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In an exclusive article for Tuoi Tre, Swede Ambassador to Vietnam Staffan Herrström reveals a painful truth rarely told on a joyous, romantic day like March 8th global women’s day falling tomorrow.
He reiterated a long-known but frequently-ignored fact that over 30% of ever-married women in Vietnam report having experienced physical and/or sexual violence in their life.
Globally, around one third of all women have experienced violence, often under horrifying circumstances like systematic rape in armed conflicts, he wrote.
Following is an excerpt from the article:
International women’s day today. Often connected to celebrations, giving flowers. Fine, nothing wrong with that.
But primarily it should be a day devoted to the core issues like domestic violence and flawed power relations tilted in favour of men. The pattern we see in all societies – sometimes more sometimes less. Simply the lack of equality, often not even giving a fair chance to girls in terms of equal access to education.
What are the real realities for women around the world in spite of all the hundred women’s days we have celebrated? Globally I have seen a figure that around one third of all women have experienced violence. Often under horrifying circumstances like systematic rape in armed conflicts.
Writing these lines I also remember my talks with young girls in Zanzibar one year ago telling me about their fear for early marriages, sometimes because of tradition but sometimes being the end result of sexual abuse.
I have just gone back to the excellent National study on domestic violence in Vietnam produced by the General Statistics Office and UN together from last November. Some key figures to remember:
• 34% of ever-married women report having experienced physical and/or sexual violence in their life.
• If you include emotional abuse as well the figure goes up to 58%.
• But the realities are hidden: Half of all women having been abused physically or sexually by their partner never told anybody.
And even worse: Many women – here as well as I remember it from Tanzania – believe that violence within the family is normal or acceptable or at least something you need to suffer through to keep the family together.
Keeping silent is dying
The name of the report gives the best possible response to that notion: Keeping silent is dying.
That’s a quote from a woman in Hanoi: I think women who suffered from violence should raise their voice and ask for help or counselling. … We should not keep silent. Keeping silent is dying.
Reading that quote I think of a brave man I met in one of my field trips.
He raised his voice against this violence, against the male perpetrators, against the authorities not engaging and acting like they should. Many more men should follow his example. And the example of the men’s groups initiated by the NGO Csaga.
Today is one day of 365. What happens the day after tomorrow in the lives of those 34% physically abused women is what really counts.
